Putting the ‘Man’ in ‘Manicure’
Ramblings: Rusty Nails
First off: Just to prove Wolverine came to Yeaman before States…
Final Proof: 2 Shots
You know how you get drunk alone? You sit there on your ratty ass recliner and pound cheap beer so fast your cans don’t have the chance to get warm and your skin tingles with the excitement of the buzz and you honestly believe you’re having fun even if you’re the only one, and you think you’re thinking of all kinds of great shit that you really should be writing down and even if you catch yourself drowsing off towards the end you’re convinced that the night you’re spending means something significant…until you wake up in a puddle of your own piss with the understanding that you’re in the same chair and the same life with the same job and nothing at all you said or thought or did has any consequence on your life. You got ridden right back where you started and and the ride wasn’t all that great, and that drunken night is just like The Wolverine.
Life in the Outhouse…here comes another Full Moon.
- Like a minor-storyline comic, it’ll burst your speech bubble
- i hate Wolverine’s ironic beard
- i hate Wolverine’s ironic haircut
“Wait, does my hair really look like a furry plate glued to my head?!”
- PG-13 vengeance isn’t as sweet as you’d think
- No consequences, so of no consequence
Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)
“Bitch, I am so gonna finger bang you.”
Sex: 0 Shots
- Wolverine kisses Jean in bed…in a dream. Neither Jean, nor the kiss, nor the dream are wet.
- Wolverine makes out with Mariko as she holds his obi [not a euphemism]
- They wake up together, fully clothed
- Minister of Defense Noburo parties with two prostitutes in their underwear
- Viper is a mutant who can kill you with a French kiss, or her breath [not a joke]
Drink: 0 shots
Yukio hasn’t yet understood Pole Dancing
- Bar fight scene when Wolverine decides to break his ten minute vow of not hurting anyone
- Logan buys evil hunter a drink before stabbing him in the hand with a poison arrow
- Drinks a shot while torturing the evil hunter
- Libido [Yukio] cuts off the bottom of a beer bottle with a samurai sword–drinks are half off
- Wolverine drinks whiskey on the plane because he’s
a pussyafraid of flying - Prostitutes make drinks for Japanese Ministry of Defense in their underwear (the drinks are in glasses, not their underwear)
Rock & Roll: 1 Shot
BMX: Be More Exciting
1 shot and it’s all for this song… Sideburn – Six Feet Under
- Normal fight scene
- Cool fight scene on top of bullet train
- Normal finale fight scene
“I’m the Man of Steal!”
Boring Technical Crap
Written by: Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, Christopher McQuarrie – screenplay
Directed by: James Mangold
Doesn’t bathe. Looks better.
Starring
Rila Fukushima – Yukio
Svetlana Khodchenkova – Viper
Famke Janssen – Jean Grey
Tao Okamoto – Mariko Yashida
Hugh Jackman – Logan / Wolverine
No. Not Irish.
Essence
The Wolverine is giving us the finger.
Another Round
“I make my skin crawl.”
Hard & Veiny: The Wolver-peen
Iron Man 3 Booze Revooze
G.I. Joe Retaliation Booze Revooze
Les Misérables Booze Revooze
Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round
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